Path to a New Beginning

Sheila, you said yesterday that since even before we were married, you have never thought we had a chance.  From the beginning I didn't "get" you, and you felt that we just weren't suited for each other.  I have to ask:  Is it really realistic to have expected to be "understood?"  Is it possible that I -- of all people -- needed your help to achieve the level of understanding you were looking for?  I readily admit there is a flaw in my character that makes this difficult for me, but that doesn't mean my heart is not in the right place, and that this flaw cannot be overcome.  I recall many times when you voiced concern about this type of issue, but I can see now that I was unprepared, or too self absorbed, to know how to fix the problem without help.  I believe this type of problem could have been fixed through counseling.  As our counselor described yesterday, I could have made concerted effort to overcome my attention issues, and you could have found better ways to get through to me, to help me meet your needs.  Instead, I tripped merrily along through life, while the perfectionist in you caused you to turn inward.  Your anger turned into self-doubt that paralyzed you from acting in a constructive way.  Out of fear of failure, lack of trust and faith, you felt it would be unsafe to commit your heart to me.  Maybe you were right, back then -- perhaps I wasn't ready, reliable or mature enough, to support the full weight of your love.  I have grown so much in these past few years, I now open my arms and my heart to you, and I want nothing more than to fix the wrongs of the past and move forward into a brave new world for both of us, together.  I'm fully prepared to stand equal to your love.  There is tremendous beauty in love, and in understanding, and loyalty, and commitment.  It is possible that without these there is very little in life.  To inspire you, to find inspiration myself, to inspire our kids and the people around us.  Maybe it's finally time to take a stand and try to make this marriage -- this family, this "small civilization" that surrounds us -- into something we can both love and benefit from.